Reconsider, Mr. President: The Plus Side of Man-Animal Hybrids

I know that the president shocked many by vowing that the U.S. would act to prevent the creation of "man-animal hybrids," but no one has yet commented on the important role that manimals (the term that man-animal hybrids prefer, btw) have played in the War on Terror, going way back to the 1980s:

Jonathan Chase is a British college professor at New York University who has the unusual ability to transform into any kind of animal he wants. He decides to use his power to assist the New York Police Department in solving unusual crimes, and in this series pilot, he teams up with cute cop Brooke and war buddy Ty to stop some terrorists from stealing a supply of toxic gas.

I mean, if a manimal could help prevent terrorists from acquiring WMD, wouldn't you want that manimal to do so? As the president might say, "sounds logical to me."

So let's not marginalize the manimal. Imagine, if you will, that we could make a man-dolphin hybrid. We wouldn't need to listen to all that chirping nonsense, and the bomb-defusing success rate in underwater situations would skyrocket. The possibilities are endless.