Paris in Sprung-Time
Finally, the news media have gotten it. Wealth and power buy justice in this country. There are "two Americas." Welllll [finger wag, finger wag, smoking ears, red contorted face], I for one am fed up. Hang those bastards high! Fry em, all!
Oh, wait. You mean we're not talking about Dick Cheney? Gonzo? Rove? Abramoff? DeLay? Scooter Libby? Come on, not even William Jefferson? That breathless 24-7 coverage is about. . . who? . . . . Paris Hilton? The celebutante?
Well, I sure as hell am glad that FOX News has spent all its precious "two minutes hate" today giving airtime to the airhead heiress. I don't know if I've seen pants-wetting coverage this melodramatic since they impeached the Big Dog. Let me get this straight. Her offense was drunk driving with a .08 BAC, the bare minimum to test as "drunk," a line 20% lower than a decade ago, when .10 was the almost universal standard, and then she broke probation by speeding on a suspended license? Now, I loathe Hilton and all she stands for as much as a straight man can loathe a beautiful woman he's never met and who has never done him wrong in any way. She broke the law, and I'd like to see her do her time. But could we dial back the histrionics? You know, from Lewinski-level to say Hillary "ain't baking no cookies like Tammy Wynette" level? Or maybe just treat it as a good laugh--you know, like psycho astronauts in diapers? Baby steps.
posted by tenaciousmcd @ 1:00 AM
4 Comments:
It's "Idiocracy," but not a movie.
So a law school friend of ours was convinced, in pure pop-psychology fashion, that people who were the most vocally anti-gay were actually compensating for their own homosexual feelings. I wonder what he'd say about a man who claims to hate fox news so much and yet somehow knows exactly what goes on there all the time.
Just start voting GOP, TMcD; we know you want to. Don't we? (Sorry. It rhymed.)
And if you want to unironically watch PH coverage, do what I do: watch The Soup. Twenty-two minutes hate - and no overalls!
One more reason to hate FOX News: for a brief moment, they've actually made me sympathize with Paris Hilton. What's next? Bush? The Yankees?
Although I'm sure you'd like to imagine me sitting around watching FOX all day, Curat, I had the good fortune yesterday to see about 40 minutes of FOX while eating lunch at our favorite Indian buffet, right before someone switched to "Just Punjabi!", which, despite its array of hipster maharajas dancing to a speedy techno beat, couldn't beat the FOX coverage for pure pop culture humor. I checked back with FOX later just to make sure they hadn't lost that lovin' feeling.
It's funny to think that the conservative movement got its start as an elitist protest against "low culture" trash in the 1940s and 50s. If ya can't beat em. . . .
So Curat, are you gonna defend your diaper boys at FOX or your dream girl?
I can't believe you have the freedom to write about anything at all and yet you chose not to blog about Just Punjabi. I would print that post off and hang it on my wall judging by your teaser. THAT'S good material.
I gave up on FOX years ago when they regularly had that Mancow dude on the morning show. Ugh. I get my fascist walking orders from the print media, if you must know. And my dreamgirl ain't blonde. Or defensible.
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