Put Out More Flags

DK raises the point: Who knew there were so many flags in the Middle East? So many Danish flags, at that. (Btw, isn't Mikton an ethnic Dane? Heads up, man.)

Let's say that one wanted to burn Danish flags. Say you're in D.C. OK, the easy flags are at the Danish embassy. I don't know where that is, but that's where I'd start. There must be at least a dozen Danish flags there. (I mean, the average U.S. embassy must have a hundred, so let's say the Danes have six.)

But how long does it take to burn through six flags? Let's assume it's a big crowd, a lengthy protest. Not very long. Going to need more flags.

So where's the next Danish flag to burn? Let's guess that there's an EU office somewhere in D.C., and that Denmark is in the EU (OK, I'm an idiot--I really don't know). But Denmark is in NATO--although that flag is probably harder to get than the embassy ones. Then there must be a Danish restaurant (???) or two . . . although not in Damascus. (In D.C.?) A Danish hotel, a cheese store . . . ? I guess that we can loot a flag store, but how many Danish flags can they have in stock? Let's just say that two months ago, if you were the manager of a flag store in Riyadh, and you ordered dozens of Danish flags . . . you'd be one out-of-work flag store manager.

I think that you can see where I'm going with this. No? Well, you're not alone. Someone must be providing these flags to the angry mobs. There's no other explanation. Now, the obvious candidates are . . . the Danes. Seriously. Has Denmark got this much attention since the reign of Canute the Great? The major nets are doing "man-on-the street" interviews with Danish men and women. Who knew that they had opinions? Who knew that they had streets?

This is all a big conspiracy to trigger Danish tourism.