South Park Republicans: Bigger, Longer, and Cut, Beeyatch

If you don't watch "South Park," you might not get this joke. And, it is tasteless. Also, I hasten to add, that I don't mean to cast aspersions on anyone--except George Felix Allen. (Backstory.) But you, Gentle Reader, are a Jew. Oh, yeah.

"Shut up, Cartman."

This "Allen's Jewish heritage" thing is such a strange story, the mind boggles. Literally. I mean, here's a guy who will talk "Southern heritage," 'til he's Stars and Bars in the face, but bring out the menorah, and it's like "private, family business." Maybe someone out there will disagree, but this SoCal mo'fo' is more kosher than Confederate. I reckon that I don't know many Johnny Rebs had grandfathers in Nazi concentration camps. Now Allen says, "never asked momma why gran'pappy were in that thar camp, never really came up." Oh, really? I guess Gramps mighta been a Communist, and then good ole boy wouldn't be so ashamed of his old granddad. But a Jew? Draws the retort: "Who's a-casting 'spertions on my kinfolk?"

This guy is ashamed of his family history (and SoCal, but that's a whole 'nother post). And why? Because his mother's family are God's Chosen People. What, now Allen has a problem with G-d? He disagrees with Yahweh's choice of people? Who is he? Moses or something?

If the voters in Virginia return this bigoted fool to the Senate, then they deserve at least seven plagues. Allen is, without a doubt, a (moon)calf made of gold.