Today's the Day

Since news coverage will be wall-to-wall Michael Jackson's death, today is the day for house-cleaning. Nothing else will even distract the unblinking eye of the 24-7 news media for a second.

So . . . pols, embarrassing disclosures? Today's the day. Sanford should have waited about 48 hours and he would have escaped ridicule. Affair? Financial shenanigans? Just get it out there. No coverage, and it will be old news in two weeks.

Does the government need to release any scandalous reports? Today's the day. Oh, you mean we did torture? And we really did let bin Laden escape at Tora Bora? And high-ranking officials did cover up the Pat Tillman friendly fire incident? And Area 51 is real? Who cares? Back to footage of the helicopter carrying the King of Pop's body!

Even more important--legislative agenda time. Need to pass some controversial legislation? Today's the day! I think the House is voting on cap-and-trade today (on a Friday?)--which the GOP had hoped to make an issue. Sorry, GOP, but who cares? Cap-and-what? Did you know "Thriller" yadda yadda . . .

But today's the day to go for broke. Not just cap-and-trade. Single-payer health-care, raise marginal tax rates, abolish the CIA, establish a Kucinich-style 'Department of Peace,' . . . you name it--today's the day.

Monday's news cast: "Apparently, while the world was mourning the King of Pop last week, the U.S. Congress expanded the size of the Supreme Court to 15 justices, giving President Obama six additional vacancies to fill. The president nominated, and the Senate confirmed, all six nominees late Friday afternoon." Pause. "But breaking news. Michael Jackson wasn't really in a coma when he arrived at the hospital! New facts in the story that has captivated the world . . . next."